Saw a TikTok earlier.
A woman said, “Men’s perfumes are better than men themselves.”
At first glance? It’s meant to be a joke. A harmless post.
But the more I sat with it, the more off it felt.
Because I know that if a man said something like, “Makeup is better than women,” the internet would break. People would tear into him. And not just him—every guy would suddenly feel like they had to explain themselves or pick a side.
And I’m tired of that.
This constant cycle of “Men are trash,” “Women are liars,” “All men cheat,” “All women use you,” “Stay single forever,” is just… sad. Tired. Like we forgot we’re all human. Like we don’t all bleed, cry, screw up, heal.
I get it—some of these posts come from hurt.
Real hurt.
I’ve had trauma from both genders.
I’ve been lied to, used, molested, abused, manipulated—by people. Not just men. Not just women. People.
And I’m not trying to “both sides” this to be neutral. I’m saying stop generalizing.
Stop turning your pain into a grenade you throw into a crowd of strangers who had nothing to do with it.
Like… think about the 12-year-old boy scrolling TikTok.
He sees a post that says “Men are disgusting” or “Men deserve nothing.”
He’s still trying to figure himself out.
Still laughs too hard at dumb jokes.
Still learning how to treat people.
Still too scared to raise his hand in class.
He’s never even held someone’s hand yet, but already feels like he’s done something wrong just by being born a boy.
He sees these posts and doesn’t fully get why they hurt, but he feels it.
Feels the shame building in his chest.
Feels like maybe he has to make up for something he never did.
Feels like he has to say sorry just for existing.
Not because he’s fragile. Not because he can’t take a joke.
But because no one deserves to grow up thinking they’re the villain in someone else’s story before they even get to write their own.
Now think about the 12-year-old girl reading those same posts.
She’s not angry—she’s scared.
Scared of men she doesn’t know.
Scared of her own dad sometimes, even if he’s never raised his voice at her.
Scared of her big brother, even if he’s the sweetest person in the world.
She goes to bed nervous in her own house. Lays awake wondering if she’s really safe.
She wonders how her parents even ended up together.
How she was born.
Was it by force? Was her mom okay? Is her mom still okay?
She carries fear that was planted in her by strangers on the internet.
People who never met her, never met her family.
Fear that doesn’t match her life, but feels real anyway.
And her brother?
He’s probably lying in the next room, scrolling through TikTok, feeling like he’s broken.
Feeling like he’s hated just for being a boy.
Both of them hurting for different reasons—and neither of them knowing why.
That’s how the cycle continues.
We talk about protecting girls—and we should.
But don’t forget that boys are human too.
They cry when no one’s looking.
They’re abused too.
They’re manipulated too.
And when all they see is hate aimed at people who look like them, they shut down.
They give up on trying to be soft.
They start thinking “Why care if people hate me anyway?”
You don’t have to love men. You don’t even have to forgive the ones who hurt you.
But if you’re gonna talk about pain—be specific.
Don’t throw the whole gender in the fire just because a few of them tried to burn you.
You can talk about your trauma. You can call out the people who hurt you. You can throw those people in a metaphorical bag and chuck them in a lake.
Just don’t drag every stranger down with them.
We need each other.
Even if the internet tries to convince you otherwise.
Even if you’ve been burned.
Even if you’re scared to say it out loud.
Perfume smells nice.
But it can’t listen to you cry.
It can’t apologize.
It can’t hold your hand.
It can’t grow.
People can.
If we let them.
“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
—Romans 12:17–18
Cya soon, 404dirtbag out. :)
